Straight-Up Momma: The Trophy Wife

Let me put this out there. I'm not a housewife.

by Nicole Chia | Thu, July 13, 2017

When I think of a housewife I think of someone who wears an apron, runs about the house in tasteful heels and an A-line dress, never smudges her lipstick and is always prepared to have the roast beef on the table for when the husband comes home.

Basically, my views of a housewife are stuck in the 1950’s.

 

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So when people equate my life living in Shanghai to being a housewife I’m all: “Hold up! I’m NOT a housewife. I don’t do all that putter about the house waiting for the kids and the husband to brighten my day thing. No, I’m a trophy wife.”

Big difference.

By definition a trophy wife is a young and attractive wife who is regarded as a status symbol for the husband who is often older. Let’s break this down: 

Young – check! I just turned a fabulous 35-years old which is the new 18. Not according to my breasts, though, which seem to have found gravity without the help of a good-fitting bra, but whatever!

 

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Attractive – check! Sometimes I get down on myself like everyone else out there. But then I just remember: no wait – even if I’m not the standard definition of beauty, I’m still wicked hot! Beauty is all about confidence and I have an abundance of that. So if confidence equals attractiveness then I’m right up there! Also, I own various pairs of Spanx and that definitely boosts my attractiveness meter.

 

 

Status symbol – check! Uh, c’mon – who would discount the lady who not only writes blogs but also designs pillows for a living? That’s a keeper right there am I right? I’m right. I also craft, cook and have really good taste in television programs. So, my husband can happily boast about all of these things to his friends and I’m sure they will go “ooooh” and “aaaaah” over how crazy cool I am.

 

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Husband who is older – check! Ben is a whole four years older than me which is a big deal because he was born in a an entirely different era than I was. The 70s were a whole WORLD away for 80s babies like me and sometimes it’s like we may as well have been born a century apart, you know? But I like him that way. He’s very distinguished. He has four gray hairs so you can tell the hourglass is draining fast!

 

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Now, there isn't anything wrong with being a housewife, I do a lot of the things a housewife does – cooking, picking up the kids, calling maintenance to bring us more bottles of water. I just think that being called a trophy wife makes me sound a bit more glamorous, with boobs that defy gravity. 

Let me have my moment.

 

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